Romance Scams
Dating apps can open the door to real connection.
A lot of meaningful relationships start this way.
At the same time, not everyone on a dating app is there for the right reasons, and it’s important to know how to recognize that without becoming fearful or shut down.
A romance scam is when someone pretends to be interested in you, but their goal is to take something from you — usually money, personal information, or emotional energy.
They may seem kind, attentive, even unusually interested right away. That’s part of how it works.
If you’re someone who values connection, who gives people the benefit of the doubt, or who feels excited when someone shows interest — that’s not a flaw. Those are human traits.
The issue is that scammers rely on people moving quickly, before there’s time to slow down and really look at what’s happening.
One of the biggest patterns you’ll see is speed.
Scammers love pressure. But, we know pressure is poison.
They come on strong. They might say things that feel intense early on — that they feel close to you, that you’re different, that they haven’t felt this way before.
It can feel flattering, especially if dating has been hard or inconsistent.
But real connection builds over time. It doesn’t need to rush.
Another common pattern is that they avoid showing up in real ways.
They might not want to video call, or they’ll always have a reason they can’t meet.
There’s often a story — traveling, working overseas, dealing with something complicated.
Over time, it starts to feel like you’re building something with someone who is never fully there.
At some point, many scams involve money.
It might be framed as a one-time emergency or a temporary situation.
They’ll often say they’ll pay you back.
This is the clearest line: someone you’ve met online should never be asking you for money. Not early on, not later, not ever.
You might also notice things just don’t quite add up.
The story feels dramatic. Something is always going wrong.
Or the profile seems almost too polished — great photos, but not much real detail about their life.
A helpful way to think about all of this is pacing. Safe, healthy connection tends to feel steady.
There’s room to ask questions. There’s no pressure to respond immediately or to share more than you’re ready to.
You don’t feel like you’re being pulled forward faster than you want to go.
There are a few simple practices that can make a big difference.
Staying on the app in the beginning gives you a layer of protection.
Asking for a video call early helps confirm the person is who they say they are.
Taking your time — even if you’re excited — allows you to see patterns more clearly. And if something feels off, talking it through with someone you trust can help ground you in reality.
It’s also important to remember that you are always allowed to step back.
You can stop responding. You can block someone. You can report them. You don’t owe anyone your time, your attention, or an explanation if something doesn’t feel right.
If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation like this, or even just unsure, it doesn’t mean you did anything wrong.
These situations are designed to be confusing.
What matters is learning how to recognize the signs and giving yourself permission to slow things down.
The goal isn’t to become suspicious of everyone.
It’s to become more steady in how you move through dating — to notice when something feels rushed, unclear, or inconsistent, and to trust yourself enough to pause.
You deserve connection that feels real. Someone who shows up, communicates clearly, and respects your pace.
No one should be asking you for money.
No one should be pressuring you in any way.
