Is my relationship healthy?

Do you know how to identify a healthy relationship? What about an unhealthy one?

A healthy relationship feels comfortable and you feel valued.

In a healthy relationship:

• you feel you can be authentically yourself

• you both listen

• disagreements are handled calmly without harsh words

• there is a foundation of trust

• you feel good about yourself when you’re with them

In short: You feel comfortable and valued.

An unhealthy relationship has conflict patterns that don’t improve and you often feel anxious.

In an unhealthy relationship:

• frequent arguments without closure

• one person puts the other down and points out their flaws frequently

• poor communication (ignoring, blaming, silent treatment)

• you feel stressed, confused, or drained

In short: There are ongoing problems that never seem to get resolved, and you feel confused or unsettled.

What do I do if my relationship is unhealthy?

If a relationship feels unhealthy, it’s important to pause and think about your choices.

Remember: You never have to stay in a relationship if you don’t want to.
Being someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend is a choice.
Both people have to keep saying “yes” for the relationship to continue.

So, you have a few options.

One option is to try to improve the relationship.
This might mean working on communication together.
This might mean learning how to calm down during disagreements,
This might mean setting clearer boundaries.

But it’s important to understand something:
You cannot control another person.
If they are not willing to change their behavior or improve how they communicate, you cannot make them.

This brings you to your other option.
You can choose to end the relationship.
You are allowed to walk away.
You do not have to over-explain or justify your decision when you end the relationship.

Sometimes, a relationship simply isn’t the right fit.
And it’s okay to choose what is best for you.
You never have to stay in a relationship if you don’t want to.