Introductions: Next Steps

It’s just an introduction — not a relationship. You can take this one step at a time.

Below is the same “Next Steps” guidance we share with members when an introduction is made.

Constellations Introduction: Next Steps

We’re glad to connect you with a possible match through Constellations.
Before you decide to do anything, take a moment to pause.

You might be feeling excited, curious, nervous, or hopeful. All of that is completely normal.

Things to remember

You do not know this person yet.
This is not a relationship or a friendship yet.
It’s simply an introduction.

Try not to get ahead of yourself.

Getting ahead of yourself can look like checking your phone repeatedly, rereading messages, thinking about the other person constantly, or imagining a future with them too quickly. That’s when someone can start to feel too important too soon.

The reality is, we don’t know them yet. We don’t know if this is actually a match.

So let’s take this one step at a time.

Constellations Core Principles

All feelings are welcome. Not all behaviors are.

You may feel excited or nervous. That’s okay. What matters is how you choose to respond to those feelings.

In Constellations, we say: pressure is poison.

When someone feels rushed, overwhelmed, or pressured, they are much more likely to pull away. We don’t pressure others, and others should not pressure us.

Going slowly helps both people feel comfortable. Slow is safe.

Next Steps

After you receive your introduction email, check to see whether we’ve asked you to send the first message.

If we have, go ahead and reach out by email. You’ll find their email address in the introduction.

Keep your message short, friendly, and focused on simply starting the conversation.

Example:
“Hi (Name), I’m glad we were introduced through Constellations. What’s your preferred way to communicate at first? We can keep emailing if that works for you.”

If you’d like to mention something you have in common, that’s a nice touch — but not required.

Send one message. Keep it simple, and give them space to respond.

Even if you feel like sending more messages, don’t. Remember: pressure is poison.

Two-message rule

In Constellations, we follow the two-message rule.

You can send your initial message, and if you don’t hear back within one or two days, you may send one follow-up.

If there’s still no response after that, stop reaching out. It’s the same rule for phone calls. This helps avoid overwhelming the other person and keeps the interaction low-pressure.

Safety reminders

Especially at the beginning, keep things simple and appropriate.

Do not share financial information, send money, ask for money, share passwords, talk about sexual or inappropriate topics, or share very personal details.

You do not know this person yet.

If the other person asks for money, pressures you, ignores your boundaries, or asks for private information early, stop communicating with them and email the Constellations team at member@harringtonmatchmaking.com.

Screening call

If messaging over email or text is going well, the next step is a short phone or video call.

The purpose of this call is to help you understand what the person is like beyond texting or emailing.

On a call, you can:

• hear their voice

• notice how they respond to you

• see if the conversation feels comfortable and appropriate

• decide if you would want to meet them in person

Texting alone is not enough to know whether or not you’d like to meet in person.

Keep the call short. About 15 to 30 minutes is ideal. Don’t let it go much longer than that.

Example:
“It’s been nice messaging with you. Would you be open to a 20 minute phone or Zoom call this week?”

During the call, you are not trying to impress them or share everything about yourself.
You are just noticing how it feels to talk to them.

End the call around the planned time, even if it’s going well. This shows you respect their time.

Let them know if you’d be open to meeting in person.

Example:
“This was a really nice call. I’d be open to meeting in person if you are. You don’t have to let me know now — you can think about it and let me know later.”

How are you feeling?

If you notice yourself wanting to keep messaging them past the two-message rule, thinking about them constantly, or feeling unsure what to do, pause. Come back to the plan: one message, then wait.

If you’ve sent multiple messages with no reply, called repeatedly, or pushed past their pace, stop and get support.

Support

If you feel unsure or stuck, that’s a sign to pause and not act or reach out to the match.

If you have a therapist, parent, trusted adult, coach, or support person, go to them first — they know you best.

If you still need support, you can reach out to us at member@harringtonmatchmaking.com.

Final reminders

You do not know this person yet.
Go slowly. Slow is safe.
Be clear and kind. Clarity is kindness.
Don’t push. Pressure is poison.